Spring Has Sprung

Sunshiny days make the Professor happy, and he loves to hang out on the balcony, checking out all the growing things. He seems particularly fond of my cypress, and tries periodically to climb up into the pot to rub his face against it. Fortunately (for both of us), his advancing years have made him a little more cautious about where he'll jump, and so far he hasn't taken a header off the balcony.

Touch wood.




Spring days leave the Professor very energetic at night, and he loves to tear into things, including my messenger bag (pictured here) and his beloved crocheted T. rex (partly visible at the bottom left). I was able to snap a half-decent photo of him without the flash, so you can see that he doesn't always have his eyes shut.


The new intern should be arriving by the end of May (we are hoping to have her installed on the last weekend of the month). Naturally photos will be taken for identification purposes. Her current foster-mother has indicated that she is very mild-tempered. Her tortie sister and orange tabby brother are extremely shy; and her black-and-white brother, who has an appetite bigger than himself, is slobberingly affectionate and desperate for attention. It should be an interesting transition for her, and for those of us in the Mountain Lair. The Professor refuses to comment on the situation except to indicate that she had better not interfere with the thesis. I have refrained from reminding him that it will be her job to assist him on it. He doesn't like to be corrected.

ARE YOU CAT ENOUGH?

Professor Furpants already has an intern, Bobby, who logs in remotely to submit his course work. However, the Professor is interested in having a second intern, one closer to home. One more readily available for abuse. And so I was sent off in search of someone. Someone young and with an untouched mind. Someone who could be molded into the Professor's (figurative) image (see above).

Someone who will put up with this:


Ha ha! That's a crocheted T-Rex, made out of nice sage-coloured merino wool and stuffed with hypoallergenic polyfill, much of which has come out due to the Prof's "busy claws". The crufty stuff you see on its surface is gooooood catnip.

So, in my search, I discovered several potential candidates. Keep in mind that none of these replace intern Bobby; the new one will merely be a supplement. And suffer more at the Prof's cranky paws.

Here are the contenders:


They are all equally qualified. On the Professor's behalf, however, I have decided that the most likely candidate will be the calico-coated girl at the top of the pile. She clearly rises above the rest. Ha ha!

[insert predictable but obsolete catchphrase here]

The Professor doesn't like having his photo taken. When he hears the camera turning on he immediately turns his head away, or gets up and stalks to another part of the room. Sometimes I catch him chilled out, though, and he'll tolerate a shot or two. Even if it's fuzzy, I'll take it.








Sometimes I just take what I can get, even if it's his behind sticking out from behind stripey curtains on a rare sunny morning. Ha ha!





The Prof is ambivalent about spring. On the one hand it means open windows, and squirrels and birds coming to perch tantalisingly close on the balcony, where he can sing to them ("Oh small creature, please come closer that I may eat you!"). On the other hand, it means open windows and squirrels and birds coming to perch tantalisingly close on the balcony, which distracts him from work on his thesis. But what are ya gonna do? Spring Has Sprung.

Vice--and a Treat

My dad used to grow, uh, herbs for the Professor and his mentor. Good stuff--strong, sweet, very effective. One of the temporary roomies (whose own HO resides here) was very fond of the, uh, herbs, and would actually perform feats that defied all laws of physics, in order to reach the bag where I had hidden it--where I, in fact, had to get up on a stepstool to reach it.

The Professor and his mentor loved it too. The mentor would daintily nibble a few leaves and then spend the afternoon purring contentedly in a sunbeam (she was otherwise a most cool and indifferent girl). The Prof would dive right in, rolling about and generally preventing anyone from getting more than a sniff at it.

Well, my dad stopped growing the stuff when I went overseas to work, because he had no reason to do so (the Prof and his mentor, recall, went to a couple of temporary homes during this time, staying with people my dad didn't know). Since my return to my Home And Native Land, I have sought high and low for an herb of similar strength. Most of what I have found has smelled like mint, for some reason; and the Prof has turned his nose up at every single sample.

Until today.

Today I picked up a packet of Imperial Cat, whose tagline is "Enhance Your Cat's Life". Oh, yes indeedy. This stuff has the grassy smell I recall from my dad's homegrown stash, and it's actually leafy--most of the stuff I've found has been crushed to almost a powder.

So, I sprinkled a bit on the kitchen floor (you can see specks of it on the Prof's coat in the photo above), and watched him go to town. It's been a while since the Prof has been able to unwind like that, and I was happy to watch him do it.

And oh yes, I promised you a treat, did I not? Forty seconds of blurry, soundless video (hey, my camera's almost as old as Professor Furpants. The Professor, not the blog!):

Oh, yeah. That's the stuff. I just wish you could hear him snuffling it.

Progress

It's been a surprisingly short weekend, but the Prof has made great progress on his thesis. After working all night on the current chapter ("Humans Are Filthy Creatures Who Only Wash Once A Day"), he did permit himself a short, four-hour nap. All four paws are visible if you look hard.






Once he'd awakened from his nap, the Prof was more than happy to demonstrate his own cleansing technique, which he requested that I photograph for him in order to use as an illustration in the thesis. He's a multimedia guru!

And, of course, he is a Cat.

Confessions of Suckitude

It's been a busy new year, and so the Prof hasn't scolded me for not updating. In fact, he's been super busy too!

I applied for a new job (sh! Don't tell my boss!) and this required the construction of a new suit. The prof was surprised by the style that I chose, as you can see from his expression here (he's examining the pattern instructions that I'm holding off-camera).

Later he resolved himself to assist me as much as possible--after all, a better job for me means better digs for him, right? So check him out making sure that the pattern pieces don't get dislodged.

It's really good of him to take time out of his busy schedule to help me, and it's most appreciated.

(I haven't yet gotten a call for an interview for this particular job, but we're holding out hope. He would like the town we're looking into moving to. Should I not get it, at least I'll have a nice suit, and at least I won't be unemployed, right? The Prof has nothing to lose).

Speaking of the Professor's busy schedule, he did take some time off his very intense writing schedule (the thesis has to be done by December of this year, remember) to take some comfortable vacation time behind the papasan.




Yeah, this was a nice snapshot and he was pretty much unprepared for it, so you see the Prof in his "natural" state. Notice that he's snuggled up against the baseboard heater. What you don't see in this shot is one of his (many) comfortable sleepy-boxes, which also sits behind the papasan (and is behind him)--it's one that doesn't have anything in it at all. Very utilitarian, but at least it's warm, which is why he likes it.






And today while I'm fiddling on the computer you can see the Professor assisting with mouse movement. I like the way he uses his tail for support, balancing it on the printer while he guides my hand. He's so efficient!!

Chat Avec Chat-en-Oeuf

Professor Furpants, while eschewing most human holidays, is particularly fond of the New Year (he's a Tiger, you know, and he's looking forward to his year in 2010). Before he goes out and does anything he rests up and ensures that all his friends, colleagues, and even the interns have been emailed and reminded of the location of the party (in the mountain lair, BYOC[atnip]).

And as the clock rolls over tonight, the Professor would like to wish a very Happy and Prosperous New Year to all of you whom he will one day rule with an iron claw.

PARTAY!!

'Tis The Season

The Professor isn't much into holidays, which he perceives simply as a disruption to his daily routine. But he will allow himself to be periodically distracted. To your left, you will see him exploring the Colonel's "secret recipe" (in actuality, there was nothing left in the bag at the time but a couple of stray fries). Paper bags and cardboard boxes seem to be the Professor's mainstay for investigating human foibles, since so many of our things are packaged and delivered in them.




And to the right you will note the nice little Christmas tree that I've put up--the first one in a decade. Don't be fooled by the Professor's expression; he doesn't feel one bit guilty. In fact, he informed me that it was all my fault anyway for not hanging the decorations in an appropriately secure fashion.

I have re-attached the fallen decoration and hope that it won't fall again. Of course I shall post updates here.

On Indolence

As the winter progresses, the Professor's energy levels tend to slide fairly low, and very little work gets done on his thesis. It means that most of the photos of him during this time are like the one to the right.

For the Professor's sake, I try to keep the place a little warmer than it would be normally; it makes him more comfortable (and keeps him from climbing up on me looking for warmth when I'm trying to defeat VG bosses, and distracting me with his razor-sharp claws that he refuses to have clipped because he needs them "just in case". In case of what? I ask. He responds, naturally, with only a haughty look.)



Of course, cold weather isn't the exclusive demesne of the Professor's power naps, as is evidenced by the photo to the left, taken in early summer of this year, before the Prof's cozy cuddly nappytime beddy-bed was relocated to my desk. Which was done to keep him from--well, from doing just this, flopping over my stuff, walking on the keyboard, spilling my drinks, et cetera (it doesn't work).

The Professor Speaks

All I ask is for the HO to keep the blog updated. Can she do it? Apparently not. Can she sit around all day playing video games? Of course!

It has come to my attention as well that she has been portraying me on this blog as a charming and playful sort; let me disabuse you of the notion. My goal is to take over the world and enslave humankind and its opposable thumbs. Look well on my visage and know your future master!



If I am a cruel taskmaster, at the very least I am consistent. I will not lull you into a feeling of security and then terrorise you with my deadly claws and teeth; the claws and teeth will be a part of your every day. This will be the rule of Furpants! Mark my words. Look once more upon your future master, as he wishes to be portrayed.

Sleep well, human!