IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION

It has come to my attention that my blog has been neglected. With all the work that I need to do, it is imperative that my HO fulfill her duties, one of which is to ensure that the blog is updated. Updated with legitimate news of the work on my thesis, and not fluff pieces about BIRTHDAY PARTIES.

If I were human I would apologise to you readers for the low quality of this blog in recent weeks. However, I have no need to debase myself in human fashion, so I will simply remind you that you make a conscious choice to come here and read my observations on the pathetic state of humanity. You do not deserve better, but it galls me that better has not been provided nevertheless.

Approximately a month after the last update, Intern McSwifferpants vanished early in the morning, at around the same time the HO tends to leave. It was an extremely quiet day, and when the HO returned, she did not bring McSwifferpants with her. That evening was extraordinarily productive, and I was able to finish the chapter, Humans have Hideously Useless Claws and Teeth, Which They do not Clean Particularly Often. The focus of that chapter is the bizarre methods humans use to "clean" their dull and ineffectual claws and teeth--something they do only two or three times a day. No wonder they come down with various diseases; they are filthy.

That night I resumed my position sleeping at the small of her back, and it was just like old times.

But, as the HO is fond of saying, nothing good will ever last. The following afternoon she returned early in the afternoon, and brought the Intern with her. The Intern had been somehow injured during her absence, some of her fur removed, and her claws trimmed short and dull. Despite all this she had not lost an ounce of energy and immediately bit me and taunted me to do the same to her.

As soon as I did, the HO scolded me. Very humiliating for one of my stature and education; so I bit her thumb to apprise her of my disapproval.

Things soon returned to as normal as they ever are in the Mountain Lair. The Intern's injury is healing, though her fur has yet to grow back. Her claws are slowly returning to a proper length.

Her attitude, of course, remains precisely the same.

I may have room in my thesis for her, in a chapter entitled Humans: Fickle and Stupid.

That is all!